The future is uncertain

back from the future
Originally uploaded by b.plus.

So I don't tend to write about graduate school because I'm trying to retain readers and get new ones, and I feel like writing about my research would only be interesting to a handful of folks.

But, there was some serious drama today - and I'm still catching my breath from it. How's this? My adviser sat myself and his other student down today and told us that he and his wife (who co-runs the lab) will be leaving by the end of the summer.

I felt like I'd been punched in the gut. The other student, who is also my office mate, friend as well as a person that generally drives me crazy, asked more about the details and the practical matters. I on the other hand just sat there in stunned silence. It was no surprise that they were retiring, I had known that, it's just that they have a grant, and it's not up for another year, so I figured I at least had that long to finish, and that they'd stick around long enough for me to. But nope. I'm crushed! First of all, I really like my adviser and his wife, who's been as much as an adviser to me as he has. They have been really great to work for. I love my lab too. I knew it would come to an end sooner or later, I just figured later. At least a year from now. At least that much notice would have been nice. To be honest I'm not even sure that they were going to give us this much notice except we've been pestering him about RA positions for the fall.

I just don't know how to feel at the moment. Part of me feels very betrayed. And part of me feels like I better not dwell on that and just get my butt in gear. I'm now very much working under the gun. As long as we still have the grant (until next May) then I can at least continue to run subjects, and use the equipment. But once that runs out I think I'm basically done. Screwed is the word I'm looking for here.

He said that he would still be able to help us as much as possible from where they move to. He seems very confident that it will all be possible. But I can't help but feel that maybe he just doesn't care. Yikes. Any advice from anyone out there would be awesome.


B. Miller said...

Wow, what a curve ball!

So... maybe this is the point where you step back and see if you need to do some damage control? What exactly do you need to get accomplished before they leave? Without the space and money they supply, will you be able to get your degree? Is there another place you could go, or is this the only office you can work in?

(Forgive me for the generalized terms; I'm not exactly sure the hierarchy of your workspace.)

I know this has rocked you and it's going to take time to get past it and figure out what the heck you're going to do. But keep in mind, very often unexpected change leads to opportunity. Maybe this doesn't fit with the plan you had... but that doesn't mean you can't make a new plan, or tweak the particulars of this one to fit your new situation.

I believe in you, your determination, and your vision. You are NOT screwed - not until you give up. And I know you. You're far too stubborn for that. ;)

Please let me know if I can help. Sending good thoughts your way.

maepress said...

thank you so much for the kind words! still working out a lot of the details...


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