What does it mean that I got a j. crew catalog in the mail and loved everything in it?
It's things like this that concern me in my thirties. I'm split between liking what I like and then wondering what I'm supposed to like, and then wondering if I care, and whether I should. When I was younger I knew what I was supposed to like, and chose not to care. When I was in my twenties, I didn't care what I was supposed to like. And now, not only do I not know what I'm supposed to like, I don't know if I should like it or not, and I care too much.
Is anyone else confused?
I feel like this often, I've lost my ability to not care what others think. This has certainly been brought about by the fact that I've entered a world where others opinions of me matter not only to just me. What I do now is a reflection on my husband, my kid, sometimes my husband's business, and potentially my career. It just doesn't always pay to throw caution to the wind anymore. But simultaneously, I continue to be bothered by the fact that I don't actually care, but must continue to act like I do.
To me, this is what it means to be an adult.
That said -- all in all, it kind of sucks. Just like I thought it would.
And did they get you to trade your heroes for ghosts?
Hot ashes for trees?
Hot air for a cool breeze?
Cold comfort for change?
And did you exchange a walk on part in the war for a lead role in a cage?